From: Thomas PHD
Date: 7/24/2003
Time: 2:24:21 AM
Remote Name: 24.164.25.91
In association with: INFORMATION CENTERS:
Note: All links within content go to MayoClinic.com Features
Sexual behavior in children: What's normal? From MayoClinic.com Special to CNN.com
Within reason, most sexual behaviors in your young child — touching his or her genitals, flashing underwear in public, "playing doctor" — are perfectly normal and shouldn't cause you alarm or undue embarrassment.
In fact, it isn't uncommon for a 5-year-old to fondle his or her genitals or for any child to mimic an adult's sexual behavior, such as passionately kissing a playmate. However, determining what is normal and identifying problem behaviors can be critical to your child's health and well-being.
Several studies conducted by researchers at Mayo Clinic, Rochester, Minn., have found that most sexual behavior in children is normal.
"We found that children who had not been sexually abused exhibited a broad range of sexual behaviors in varying frequencies. And while it's true that children who have been abused exhibit sexual behavior, so do children who have not," says Mayo Clinic psychologist William Friedrich, Ph.D, lead author of a study published in 1998 in the journal Pediatrics . "A 5-year-old who touches his genitals is just doing what little kids do as a part of their development — explore their bodies and do what feels good. Two-thirds of boys that age in the study were reported to have exhibited self-stimulation."
Dr. Friedrich gathered data from the mothers of more than 1,000 ethnically diverse children ages 2 to 12 from Minnesota and Los Angeles. The mothers reported on types and frequencies of sexual behaviors they observed in their children. The study didn't include children who had been abused sexually.
The study found:
* Younger children were more likely to exhibit sexual behaviors than older children. * In children 5 and under, the most frequent behaviors included self-stimulation, exhibitionism and behaviors relating to personal boundaries — standing too close or rubbing against a playmate. * Other common behaviors included touching their mothers' or other women's breasts and voyeurism.
"Children who have younger siblings who are being breast-fed often grab at women's breasts. And natural curiosity would explain why children want to see naked bodies," says Dr. Friedrich.
The researchers also found that after age 5, sexual behavior in children tends to drop off considerably, resurfacing most commonly at age 11 for girls and at age 12 for boys.
"Younger children tend to be less inhibited than older children," Dr. Friedrich says. "But usually by kindergarten, children are becoming socialized and learning what is appropriate behavior and what is not. That might explain why sexual behavior in children drops off at about age 6 and usually doesn't resurface until they are teenagers."
The study also showed that:
* Boys and girls of the same age — regardless of ethnicity or socioeconomic status — tend to exhibit similar sexual behaviors. * There is a direct relationship between parents' attitudes toward sexuality and a child's behavior. If the mother reported being relaxed about nudity in the home, chances were the child was observed to be relaxed about nudity. * No conclusions could be drawn regarding whether hours spent in group child-care settings influence sexual behavior. The researchers speculate that it's possible more sexual behavior might be exhibited in child-care settings, where children from diverse backgrounds have more chances to interact. * Sexual behavior was significantly related to family violence and life stress. * And, although sexual behavior is normal, excessive sexual behavior may suggest other behavioral problems — including sexual abuse.
Dr. Friedrich gives this advice on what to do when your young child behaves sexually:
* Set rules. If your child is masturbating in public, remind him or her that it's something to be done in private. Calmly ask your child to stop, and divert his or her attention. Be firm but non-threatening. Use the same approach if you observe your child "playing doctor" with another child. Most children stop sexual behaviors once they learn what's appropriate and what isn't. * Think like a child. Children may not be aware that what they're doing is inappropriate or sexual. What you might think of as harassment — a child kissing or lying on top of a playmate — may be nothing more than innocent fun to the children. Try to separate your feelings about sexuality from your child's. * Consider the context. If you're concerned about your child's sexual behavior, stop and think. Is the activity appropriate for a child of that age? Where does the behavior occur? Is it something he or she does occasionally or frequently? Is the behavior in the normal range, or is it particularly adult-like or unusual? Typically, children who are sexually abused are preoccupied with sex or consistently display knowledge or behaviors beyond their developmental age. * Remember that children will vary. Siblings will vary in their sexual behaviors. You may wonder if it's OK to bathe children of different ages and genders together and at what age it becomes inappropriate. "My answer is that it depends on the maturity and personality of the individual child," Dr. Friedrich says. "If your child is overly curious about bodies, maybe a solo bath would be better. If an older child begins to express modesty, be respectful of his or her need for privacy." * Talk to your children. Dialogue is key. Sexual behavior — a natural part of life — shouldn't be a subject of embarrassment or taboo for parents or children. If you have any questions or concerns about your child's sexual behavior, talk to a trusted health professional.
December 07, 2001
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