Understanding and Managing Sexual Behaviors
in Youth with Emotional or Behavioral Disorders

Children and youth with emotional or behavioral disorders sometimes have a history of physical and sexual abuse, or have lived in very sexualized environments, either in their homes or on the street. As a result, they often have trouble regulating their sexual and aggressive impulses or establishing and maintaining emotional and physical boundaries with others. Many of these youth are precocious, sexually aware, and easily stimulated; and they frequently use sex and sexual behaviors inappropriately to address needs for power, affirmation, connection, or gratification. Wediko Children’s Services and Boys Town, both residential treatment programs for at-risk and troubled youth, help youth address inappropriate sexual behaviors and learn alternative skills to create positive and healthy relationships.

Located in Boston, Massachusetts, Wediko Children's Services operates a co-educational summer program as well as a school-year program for male students ages 8-18 with emotional and behavioral problems. Personal safety is a prerequisite of both of Wediko’s programs. In order for students to learn skills and make progress, they have to feel safe within their bodies and within their environment. Groups of 10 students meet for discussions 2 or 3 times a day, and safety is often a topic. They grapple with questions such as: What does it mean to be safe? What are the roles and responsibilities in maintaining safety? What behaviors break safety down?

To assist students in learning self-regulation and differentiating between appropriate and inappropriate behaviors, program staff use several techniques:

• Labeling behaviors, such as "I’m being sexual right now," or "That is sexual," allows students to recognize and name their feelings and actions;
• Corrective feedback from peers, through group discussions, helps students understand the impact of their actions on others by being told, "When you stand too close to me, it scares me";
• A checklist and incentive system encourages students to use appropriate social interactions (e.g., sharing, being a good friend, participating in the group, being safe, using "I" statements), rather than engaging in sexualized behaviors to get their needs met; and
• Saturated and sustained nurturing ensures that students experience respect, acceptance, and affirmation through relationships with adults (through whom they can learn new, appropriate ways to get their needs met and develop self-regulatory behaviors).

For more information about Wediko Children’s Services and their programs, contact: Hugh Leichtman, Administrative Director, Wediko Children’s Services, 264 Beacon Street, Boston, MA 02116; or call 617-536-2747.

A residential school program for at-risk and troubled youth, Boys Town teaches students how to recognize emotional manipulation and sexual coercion in their relationships. A pilot curriculum, "Unmasking Sexual Con Games," developed by youth-care professionals at Boys Town, is presented to incoming high schools students, and, again, to seniors. The program first helps teens identify unhealthy behaviors, then focuses upon developing skills to establish healthy relationships. In single-sex groups led by a teacher, classes discuss:

• Forms of emotional grooming and manipulation (such as flattery, anger, or intimidation);
• Ways to develop and maintain emotional and physical boundaries (such as being told one is "too close for comfort");
• Characteristics of con language and "lines" (such as using sexually graphic or possessive language, applying pressure, or referring to sex as a duty or loyalty), and
• Social and friendship skills (such as communicating, listening, and understanding what it means to be a good friend).

For more information on Boys Town, contact: Kathleen Sorenson, Assistant Director, Boys Town Center for Adolescent and Family Spirituality, Father Flanagan’s Boys’ Home, Boys Town, NE 68101; or call 402-498-1896, or 1-800-448-3000 (a 24-hour crisis hotline).